Teach Respect

In the Philippines, “respect” is one of the most important behaviors, parents and teachers consistently teach to children. What to expect at toddlers? As I said from my previous blog, toddlers have an oppositional behavior and teaching respect will need years of continuous teaching and practice to learn how to show it.

Listening is one of the good examples of respect. It can be hard to wait patiently for a toddler to have his say, but it’s worth it. Let them feel the respect by getting down on their level, looking at them in eye and letting them know that you are interested and you are listening of what they are telling you. It is also the best way to teach them to listen to you, when you are talking to them and by that you will gain the same respect that you show them. Don’t make them associate respect with fear by threatening smack them if they didn’t listen.

Teach them good manners by saying “please” and “thank you” to show care and respect with others. Tell them that you appreciate them when they are polite and tell them also that you don’t like it when they boss you around. Always say “thank you” and “please” not just to your kids but to others as well and they will learn that these phrases are part of normal communication to both your family and in public.

If the child is being naughty by pulling you, call you names or even hit you just to get your attention, talk to them face to face… “We do NOT hit or talk that way in this family (or in this house)”. Tell them that if they want or need something, ask it with respectful manner. “If you want me to watch a video with you, just ask me nicely. Say, ‘Daddy, can you watch a video with me?’” We cannot always ask kids to follow us, because that is normal, there are always disagreements. Remember that when the kids won’t do what you asked them, it doesn’t mean that they are disrespectful -- they just have a different opinion.

One of the best ways to show respect is to be equally kind and firm in your discipline. Kind shows respect to the child and firm shows respect for what needs to be done. If your toddlers throws tantrum in daycare center and say that they are not going in, and none of your strategies work, just stay in one place and let them until they stop. After that ask calmly if they are ready to try again, then go back to daycare center and before you leave explain that you will be back to pick them up. They will learn that tantrums will not change the fact that they are still going to their daycare center.

Praise the child when they show politeness as much as possible, by saying specifically why you praise them. “Thank you for saying please when you asked for your book” or “thank you for saying thank you to your friend for giving you a biscuit.” Be precise, so they will know what they did why you praised them and they will see that their efforts are worthwhile and appreciated.